这是我的第一张全家福，摄于儿子出世后三个星期。当时的我非常心急想要知道脑里真正的状况。于是拍了这第一张全家福后，就赶到吉隆坡去做检查。心里当时在想：就算是万一出了什么状况，也让孩子们有个记念。离开的时候感觉像是生离死别，因对未来充满着问号。
This is my first family photo taken during my son reached three weeks old. I was so concerned about what was happening in my brain. Before I decided to go to Kuala Lumpur for the further checkup, I took this picture. I was thinking that my children will have at least something to memorize if something unexpected happened to me on this trip. It was hard for me, knowing the risk involving in brain surgery and I might not come back a live to meet them again.
两个孩子由家婆暂时照顾，我带着工人和丈夫到中央医院去做检查。这是因为在这之前的扫描并不能够看清楚我的动静脉异形正确的位置及状况，因此必须做另一种立体扫描（脑血管造影〕（Angiogram）, 我到吉隆坡中央医院排队等见脑科医生，医生只与我谈了大约三分钟就告诉我说我的情况不急，但要记得控制情绪，叫我回家等一个月后才安排我照立体扫描。我大老远从槟城赶来就那么几句话。我的确非常失望，我已经等了好久，整整五个月，对脑里的真正的情况依然一无所之。
My mother in-law was taking care of my two children. I went to general hospital in Kuala Lumpur with my husband and maid. The scan before this cannot precisely shown how large and where is my AVM (ArterioVenous Malformation) located. For this, I have to perform Angiogram. Waited for so long in a queue, the brain specialist in the general hospital only talked to me about 3 minutes and she told me that my case is NOT urgent but just need to control my emission. Asked me to go home and wait for a month before I can do my angiogram, or else we have to go for private specialist. I was so disappointed after I had waited for nearly five months; went all the way to Kuala Lumpur and know nothing about my condition.
我和丈夫商量后决定到梳邦再也医院再做第二次的资讯。脑科医生看起来经验丰富，他说动静脉异形的确少见，但叫我不用太担心，他说遇过有些幸运的人活到七十多岁到死都没发作。他也劝告我说别太担心，要我像往常一样过我的生活。因为他也说我的脑血管破裂是因为它失去了弹性，而不是因为我的情绪的波动。他安排我马上入院做立体扫描（脑血管造影）（Angiogram），过后再讨论该如何做。
After discussed with my husband, we decided to go for a second opinion at Subang Jaya Medical Centre. The doctor seems more experience, he told me that AVM is rare but not too worry about it. Some patients survived after AVM without second rapture. He advised me to continue my life as usual because the rapture of blood vane was due to elasticity deterioration, and it was not my emotion. He asked me to admit so that he could performed angiogram the next day. After that, they would advise us what the next move was.
当天我就入院，第二天早上做立体扫描（脑血管造影）（Angiogram）。第二天一早，我被推进医院里的镭射中心(imaging centre)，医生给了我麻醉针，我沉入半昏迷状况，依稀听到一些声音及有一些感觉，我感觉到医生把一个管子从大腿的静脉进入身体，到达我的颈部时，他叫我别动，他要把药水（染色体）放进去了，我感觉一股热流往脑里冲，迷迷糊糊之中，也不知道过了多久，我被推出来，然后被推入病房休息。后来丈夫告诉我过程大约一个小时。做了扫描，医生说要躺着八个小时别动，不然动脉会再次破裂，必须多做一个手术，把坏死细胞刮掉然后缝针。就这样乖乖的躺了八个小时。
The next morning, they sent me to the imaging centre. After anesthetist’s induction, I was half conscious. The doctor inserted a tiny hose through venous near my right groin. I could feel the hose moved in my blood vane right up to my neck. The doctor then instructs to stay still and he injected dyestuffs. I could feel a stream of warm liquid filled up my brain. Dizzily, I could not remember how long the whole process took. After the angiogram, I have to stay in bad for 8 hours to avoid bleeding from the opening.
当天晚上，两位医生来看我，他们说我的动静脉的直经很大，因此有两个不同的方法解决，一个方法无需开刀称为intervention surgery，但由于直经有十三公分，应该要分成三个不同的程序。首两个程序要把周遭的血管阻塞，称为”Embolisation”，让范围缩小后才能做最后的程序－电疗(SRS)，让整个动静脉干枯，让血液不再往这儿通过。但也许须不只三次的程序，费用是相当的大。
另一个选择就是动脑部的手术，最直接最快也最便宜，但医生说那个部分相当深，一样的成功率也不知道有多大。我只记得当时泪流满脸，我也记得医生劝我说：你应该高兴现在我们有办法解决，如果是五年前，我们只可以告诉你无能为力。
This is my first family photo taken during my son reached three weeks old. I was so concerned about what was happening in my brain. Before I decided to go to Kuala Lumpur for the further checkup, I took this picture. I was thinking that my children will have at least something to memorize if something unexpected happened to me on this trip. It was hard for me, knowing the risk involving in brain surgery and I might not come back a live to meet them again.
两个孩子由家婆暂时照顾，我带着工人和丈夫到中央医院去做检查。这是因为在这之前的扫描并不能够看清楚我的动静脉异形正确的位置及状况，因此必须做另一种立体扫描（脑血管造影〕（Angiogram）, 我到吉隆坡中央医院排队等见脑科医生，医生只与我谈了大约三分钟就告诉我说我的情况不急，但要记得控制情绪，叫我回家等一个月后才安排我照立体扫描。我大老远从槟城赶来就那么几句话。我的确非常失望，我已经等了好久，整整五个月，对脑里的真正的情况依然一无所之。
My mother in-law was taking care of my two children. I went to general hospital in Kuala Lumpur with my husband and maid. The scan before this cannot precisely shown how large and where is my AVM (ArterioVenous Malformation) located. For this, I have to perform Angiogram. Waited for so long in a queue, the brain specialist in the general hospital only talked to me about 3 minutes and she told me that my case is NOT urgent but just need to control my emission. Asked me to go home and wait for a month before I can do my angiogram, or else we have to go for private specialist. I was so disappointed after I had waited for nearly five months; went all the way to Kuala Lumpur and know nothing about my condition.
我和丈夫商量后决定到梳邦再也医院再做第二次的资讯。脑科医生看起来经验丰富，他说动静脉异形的确少见，但叫我不用太担心，他说遇过有些幸运的人活到七十多岁到死都没发作。他也劝告我说别太担心，要我像往常一样过我的生活。因为他也说我的脑血管破裂是因为它失去了弹性，而不是因为我的情绪的波动。他安排我马上入院做立体扫描（脑血管造影）（Angiogram），过后再讨论该如何做。
After discussed with my husband, we decided to go for a second opinion at Subang Jaya Medical Centre. The doctor seems more experience, he told me that AVM is rare but not too worry about it. Some patients survived after AVM without second rapture. He advised me to continue my life as usual because the rapture of blood vane was due to elasticity deterioration, and it was not my emotion. He asked me to admit so that he could performed angiogram the next day. After that, they would advise us what the next move was.
当天我就入院，第二天早上做立体扫描（脑血管造影）（Angiogram）。第二天一早，我被推进医院里的镭射中心(imaging centre)，医生给了我麻醉针，我沉入半昏迷状况，依稀听到一些声音及有一些感觉，我感觉到医生把一个管子从大腿的静脉进入身体，到达我的颈部时，他叫我别动，他要把药水（染色体）放进去了，我感觉一股热流往脑里冲，迷迷糊糊之中，也不知道过了多久，我被推出来，然后被推入病房休息。后来丈夫告诉我过程大约一个小时。做了扫描，医生说要躺着八个小时别动，不然动脉会再次破裂，必须多做一个手术，把坏死细胞刮掉然后缝针。就这样乖乖的躺了八个小时。
The next morning, they sent me to the imaging centre. After anesthetist’s induction, I was half conscious. The doctor inserted a tiny hose through venous near my right groin. I could feel the hose moved in my blood vane right up to my neck. The doctor then instructs to stay still and he injected dyestuffs. I could feel a stream of warm liquid filled up my brain. Dizzily, I could not remember how long the whole process took. After the angiogram, I have to stay in bad for 8 hours to avoid bleeding from the opening.
当天晚上，两位医生来看我，他们说我的动静脉的直经很大，因此有两个不同的方法解决，一个方法无需开刀称为intervention surgery，但由于直经有十三公分，应该要分成三个不同的程序。首两个程序要把周遭的血管阻塞，称为”Embolisation”，让范围缩小后才能做最后的程序－电疗(SRS)，让整个动静脉干枯，让血液不再往这儿通过。但也许须不只三次的程序，费用是相当的大。
另一个选择就是动脑部的手术，最直接最快也最便宜，但医生说那个部分相当深，一样的成功率也不知道有多大。我只记得当时泪流满脸，我也记得医生劝我说：你应该高兴现在我们有办法解决，如果是五年前，我们只可以告诉你无能为力。
That night, two specialists came and informed me that the diameter of AVM is large, and proposed 2 solutions. The first solution is called intervention surgery; but due to large AVM (13 cm), the whole operation has to slit into three times. The first two were to clog the surrounding blood vessels through “Embolization” to reduce the size and followed by Stereotactic Radio Surgery(x-knife). This would shrink the AVM to prevent blood flow in it. Depending on the response, the process might need more 3 times and the cost is huge.
The second solution was the normal brain operation, straight forward and the cheapest. But the doctor informed that the AVM was situated deep in the centre of the brain and higher risk. I was crying hopelessly. The doctor continues by saying that I should be happy because they have solution for me.
如果你曾经到脑科病楼走走，你会发现那儿的情况非常恐怖，特别是政府医院，你会见到好多手术后依然不能清醒的病人并排躺着，护士在一个一个的拍、在摇、在呼唤他的名字。我住过因此印象深刻，况且现在邻床也正躺着一个，今早我也听见护士帮他抹身后在呼唤他，所以我说什么都不想开刀。人家说：不怕一万，只怕万一。
从躺着到如今能慢慢地踏步，得来可一点都不容易，怎样都不想去赌这一场，如果我又因开刀而唤不醒，不是比现在还不如。孩子还小，说什么我都不能冒险开刀。最感动地是听到丈夫对我说：钱不是问题，只要你安全。弟弟及爸爸也至电说：钱不用紧，他们可以解决。因此决定要选择无须开刀的方法。
The second solution was the normal brain operation, straight forward and the cheapest. But the doctor informed that the AVM was situated deep in the centre of the brain and higher risk. I was crying hopelessly. The doctor continues by saying that I should be happy because they have solution for me.
如果你曾经到脑科病楼走走，你会发现那儿的情况非常恐怖，特别是政府医院，你会见到好多手术后依然不能清醒的病人并排躺着，护士在一个一个的拍、在摇、在呼唤他的名字。我住过因此印象深刻，况且现在邻床也正躺着一个，今早我也听见护士帮他抹身后在呼唤他，所以我说什么都不想开刀。人家说：不怕一万，只怕万一。
从躺着到如今能慢慢地踏步，得来可一点都不容易，怎样都不想去赌这一场，如果我又因开刀而唤不醒，不是比现在还不如。孩子还小，说什么我都不能冒险开刀。最感动地是听到丈夫对我说：钱不是问题，只要你安全。弟弟及爸爸也至电说：钱不用紧，他们可以解决。因此决定要选择无须开刀的方法。
If you ever have chance to visit neurosurgery ward, you will notice a horrible situation, especially the general hospital. You will see rows of coma patients after the operation. The nurse move around. They were shaking the patient hand or body and calling patients’ name. I have been admitted to similar ward and it terrified me. The patient next to me has put into coma after operation. I am not going to take the risk with normal operation. As Chinese phrase quote: “not afraid of 10,000 cases but just in case”
Since my left side paralyzed till now, I am able to walk slowly; it is not easy at all, I am not going to gamble my life. It is worst coma than able to walk even slowly. My children still young and I can not risk myself for operation. The most heart warming was my husband’s support in my safety and not the monetary. My brother and father also conveyed the same massage. I had decided not to operate through the conventional operation method.
我要这一张照片成为第一张而不是最后一张。我告诉了医生我的意愿，医生就告诉我们说费用很高，劝我们转到政府医院，因为该医生有在那儿当顾问，可以让他的学生帮我做。他叫我好好考虑清楚。回家先商量再告诉他，因为他们不能马上替我做。他们要我们考虑清楚，然后他们再做安排。就这样我结束了这一次的医院之旅，开始期待下一次到医院的旅程。
I wanted this photo to be the first but not the last one. I told doctor my wish and the doctor advised me to try at university hospital being reason of the operation cost is high, and he is the consultant surgeon in that hospital but his student will perform the intervention. He asked me to back home and discuss over it then inform him what our decision was. I end my first journey and look forwards to the next trip.
这是过后无数次的全家福，我庆幸依然活着。 These were photoes taken after the operation. I am please that I can still take photograph with my family members.
Since my left side paralyzed till now, I am able to walk slowly; it is not easy at all, I am not going to gamble my life. It is worst coma than able to walk even slowly. My children still young and I can not risk myself for operation. The most heart warming was my husband’s support in my safety and not the monetary. My brother and father also conveyed the same massage. I had decided not to operate through the conventional operation method.
我要这一张照片成为第一张而不是最后一张。我告诉了医生我的意愿，医生就告诉我们说费用很高，劝我们转到政府医院，因为该医生有在那儿当顾问，可以让他的学生帮我做。他叫我好好考虑清楚。回家先商量再告诉他，因为他们不能马上替我做。他们要我们考虑清楚，然后他们再做安排。就这样我结束了这一次的医院之旅，开始期待下一次到医院的旅程。
I wanted this photo to be the first but not the last one. I told doctor my wish and the doctor advised me to try at university hospital being reason of the operation cost is high, and he is the consultant surgeon in that hospital but his student will perform the intervention. He asked me to back home and discuss over it then inform him what our decision was. I end my first journey and look forwards to the next trip.
这是过后无数次的全家福，我庆幸依然活着。 These were photoes taken after the operation. I am please that I can still take photograph with my family members.
1 comment:
your blog is very good......
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